So I’m reading my romance novel and things are starting to heat up… wink, wink… you know what I mean. And then two words jump up and throw me way out of my happy place.
You’ve heard of Vlad the Impaler? He was the seriously mixed up Voivode of Wallachia back in the 1400’s. Apparently, he “executed by impalement” a lot of people to impose his rule. His family name was Dracul. Yep, that’s where Dracula comes from. Wikipedia
Shudder, writhe, wretch. So much for that sexy feeling.
I love bread. I love to mix together a few simple ingredients that will turn into heaven from my oven. I even paraphrased an ode to bread. To do it right, kneading requires some upper body strength. On a warm day, I “perspire” when I knead bread. When I think of the effort of kneading applied to human flesh… I cross my arms protectively over my chest.
So NOT a turn-on!
Romance writers, please use kinder words in your sex scenes and leave Vlad, and his baker, out of it. Thank you.
© 2017 Joan Leacott
photo of delicious fogaca © 2005 Paula Santos via Wikimedia Commons